Title: 10 Very Bad Days Rupert Giles Never Had

Author:lisa roquin

Rating: 13 (?) overall

Fandom: BtVS/multple crossovers

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Giles.

Disclaimer:All copyrighted characters and their respective universes are the property of their creators, authors, writers, production companies, publishers etc. Quite simply if you recognize it, it is in no way shape or form mine. This is purely for entertainment. No money made.

Author's Note: 10 100 word crossover drabbles of things that never happened to...challenge. Done mostly to challenge myself to see if I could come up with a set for someone other than Xander.

Crossovers in order:

1. Harry Potter

2. Highlander

3. Austin Powers

4. Stephen King Books

5. Stargate SG1

6. Dukes of Hazard

7. Star Trek Voyager

8. Smallville

9. Father Dowling

10. Friends

BtVS/HP

word count 100

"This is bloody ridiculous"

"Oh shut up, you big baby! This is going to be incredible!"

Giles looked warily at Ethan. He really wasn't sure about this. In fact the whole thing rather turned his stomach, but it would drive his father insane and that was what the nineteen year old really wanted.

"It's time to go"

Giles swallowed. It was too late to back out anyway. Doing so would just get him killed and possibly Ethan as well.

When it was his turn he held out his arm and managed not to scream as he recieved the Dark Mark.

BtVS/Highlander

wordcount 100

Giles blocked the sword that came swinging at him with his own. He was tiring. His opponent was not as good, but had died his first death younger, stronger.

He found his opening. His sword impaled his opponent's stomach.

"Do it," the challenger snarled.

Giles raised his sword and swung it downward neatly decapitating the other Immortal. The swirling mist that began a Quickening surrounded him. Over a century of knowledge and taken heads slammed into him.

"C'mon, on your feet, we've got to go."

Giles staggered up, leaning heavily on Richie and Methos.

"I loathe Quickenings," Giles said shakily.

BtVS/Austin Powers

wordcount 100

"Oh Good Lord!" Giles groaned. "What are you doing here, Austin?"

"Oh yeeaah, Baby," Austin leered at Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Anya.

"You know him, Giles?" Anya said incredulously. "Do you know how many venereal diseases were wished on him in 1968?"

"I can imagine"

"Don't worry, baby, penicillin took care of that naaasty business"

"Who is this freak, Giles?" Buffy demanded. "Please tell me he's a demon so I can kill him."

"OOooo, fiesty,"

"No, he's not a demon--"

"That's not what I've been told. I'm a demon in bed, yeah, baby."

"Austin!" Giles snapped. "Why are you here?"

BtVS/Christine by Stephen King

wordcount 100

Giles stared in horror at the car. It was a classic, and in not too bad of shape really. New tires, a tune up and a good washing were about all it was needing before it would be drivable. Xander had said the car kept getting moved at the impound lot he was working at, no one would claim to be the one doing it and that the car kept looking better by the day.

This was the Hellmouth. He shouldn't be surprised that the car dismissed as urban legend by the Council finally turned up...a 1958 Plymouth Fury...named Christine.

BtVS/Stargate SG1

wordcount 100

"Can I help you?" Giles frowned as a man who seemed vaguely familiar entered the Magic Box followed by a man and woman both in Air Force uniforms. A Colonel and a Major if he wasn't mistaken.

"Uhm, yes, I--your website said you had canopic jars."

"Website?" Giles frowned. "The shop has a website?"

"Whoa Military?" Xander frowned entering the magic shop with the girls. "What's going on G-man?"

"I have no idea. Anya, Willow, perhaps you can enlighten me as to when the Magic Box acquired a website. They're here because of canopic jars mentioned on it."

BtVS/Dukes of Hazard

wordcount 100

"Unbelievable." Giles muttered as the flashing sirens appeared in his rear veiw mirror.A traffic stop on a dirt road.

Hazard County Georgia was one of the most backward places Giles had ever been in his life. An activated Potential had been tracked down here--to the "Duke Farm". A couple websearches later Willow had it narrowed down to the daughter of a Bo Duke or the daughter of a man with the utterly absurd name of Luke Duke.

"Hello, Sherriff, was I--"

An orange Dodge sped by.

"Gyuh! Them durn Duke girls! They're worse than Bo and Luke ever were!"

BtVS/Star Trek Voyager

word count 100

"Now, Mr. Giles, I would appreciate you giving me a reason for your appearance on the bridge of my ship."

"I did, Captain Janeway,"

"A magic spell?"

"Yes. Willow and Tara will hopefully learn their lesson this time."

"Witchcraft."

"Yes."

"Do I look like a fool to you, Mr. Giles?"

"You most certainly do not. Believe me, I am as unhappy about this situation as you are."

"Where are you from"

"England originally, I've lived in Southern California the last several years."

"Then how did you come to appear on Voyager's bridge?"

BtVS/Smallville

wordcount: 101

"Miss Sullivan?"

"Clark is staying." the blonde girl said firmly.

Giles sighed and glanced at Willow. "I think it's okay. Uh, details later" Willow said after murmuring a spell and studying the boy with Chloe Sullivan carefully. Willow was ancy. What on earth did she see in the boy's aura? Well, it wouldn't be the first time they'd come across some unusual people, to use the word loosely, who had long been a part of a newly activated Potential's life.

"If you're certain Miss Sullivan..."

"I am. Now what is with all this."

"Well, lets start at the begining. The Slayer..."

BtVS/Father Dowling Mysteries

wordcount 101

Father Dowling entered the church having heard noises and afraid that the group of vandals in the neighborhood had finally decided to target the church. He was surprised to find a man in his forties and two boys in their twenties, one with an eyepatch, the other could have passed for about fifteen if not for the fact he was in need of a shave.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh, yes, Father..."

"Dowling."

"Father Dowling, I really don't have time to explain but we are in dire need of holy water. It's a matter of life and death, could you help?"

BtVS/Friends

wordcount 100

"So you're Chandler's mom's cousin?"

"Yes."

"So you're related to Chandler"

"Yes" Giles said tiredly.

"But you're English,"

"Really, I hadn't noticed." Giles retorted. The man was an imbicile! Why had he ever thought this visit was a good idea?

"What sort of name is Rupert? It's kinda stupid and wussy"

"And a thirty year old going by Joey is the epitome of manliness."

"Huh?" Joey frowned. "Hey! I'm not thirty! I'm twenty eight!"

Giles rolled his eyes. "Can you please tell me when Chandler is going to be home again? My flight leaves in five hours." Thank God.