"I wish"

Xander had all he could do not to grab the two teenage girls ahead of him in the checkout line and shake them, to shout at them and tell them never, ever, ever to say those two evil little words.

The pair paid for their sodas and headed out the convenience mart’s doors. Xander sat his own purchases up on the counter. Dutifully pulled his billfold out and displayed his ID when the clerk asked. She stammered a bit apologetically. Xander snorted "I’ll take it as a compliment that I don’t look as old as I feel"

The girl ringing up his beer and snacks smiled tiredly. She didn’t look any older than Dawnnie, her eyes told another tale though--bone tired and decades older than her face. Xander nearly echoed the wince she gave as her hugely pregnant belly lurched. "I hear that one" the girl agreed. "37.86" she said.

Xander fished two twenties out of the wallet he held and paid. Case of beer in one hand, sack of chips in the other he headed out into the bitter Colorado night.

~*~*~

"Xander, right on time. C’mon in."

"Thanks, Jack" Xander gave a pained smile. Even here those words bothered him. Years of Scooby habits couldn’t be wished away.

"Hi Xander"

"Daniel"

"Teal’c and Carter should be here any minute." Jack grinned.

Team bonding night. Xander wished he could be in a bit better mood about it. Actually, team-bonding night wasn’t all that different than a Scooby-style get together. Well, alcohol had never been a big Scooby thing, of course none of them were really old enough for the bulk of their Scooby years. The small tight-knit group trying to unwind after a long week of the weird, well that was normal. It was the weird that was weird.

Jack requisitioned the beer and bag of snacks reminding Xander more than a little of Buffy Summers.

There was a distinction, Buffy Summers, The Slayer. Not Elizabeth Giles, Beth for short, Buffy being the mispronunciation of Bethie that had stuck on after her siblings had gotten past toddler-hood and could say her name properly. As if Rupert "Ripper" Giles would allow a daughter of his being named Buffy in any dimension if he had a say in it.

Carter and Teal’c pulled up before Jack could shut the door behind Xander,

~*~*~

Hockey.

Yeah, complete thrillsville.

No matter which reality it was--c’mon…. hockey?

Xander Harris grew up on the Hellmouth in southern California. His few forays into the world of athletics included his skateboard and nearly being turned into a creature from the black lagoon style demon during his short stint on the swim team. And fighting of course. Granted he was dismissed as the comic relief , but truth told he wasn’t that bad of a fighter. Especially after the Soldier took up residence in his head and Xander slowly started learning from his mental companion.

Xander Harris had been the weak link of the Scoobies--the one without super slayer strength or vampire strength or thousand plus years of demonic experience or big with the mojo. Still put him up against normal human beings and he could kick ass with the best of them after nearly 9 years of demon fighting. He’d survived and managed to hold his own (barely) against vampires and demons far stronger than normal humans it shouldn’t be that surprising. But it was, at least to Xander Giles, because Xander Harris had always been considered the helpless one.

Xander Giles had grown up hopping from dig to dig in the middle east. He and his family had been in Kuwait, his father presenting something or other at the national museum there, when the Iraqi’s invaded in 90. Xander, then 12 (for some odd reason Xander Giles was older than Xander Harris) Andrew 10 and Dawn 6 had made it out, along with Faisal, the Egyptian archaeologist that was their father’s best friend. The other jeep had been hit by mortar fire, Xander clearly remembered covering Dawn’s eyes as they drove past the wreckage and gore that had been the jeep their parents--Ripper and Joyce Giles-- Will, Beth and Willow had been in.

Xander Giles and his two younger siblings had been considered dead as well for years. Faisal having promised Ripper Giles not to send the children to England as long as the senior Lord Giles was alive.

Three months ago in Xander Giles’ life they’d come across a strange artifact which had brought SG1 to check it out. The artifact had been Goa’uld, and Faisal had been beside himself that it was indeed Daniel Jackson who was with the group. Faisal had gone on for hours. Mel and Clair Jackson had had three archaeology students that had spent several years with them. Ripper and Joyce Giles and Faisal Ahmed.

The confused events that followed Xander really wasn’t sure of--head injuries did that to a person. He knew, he was King of head injuries in any dimension. Faisal had been killed. Xander, Andrew and Dawn Harris had been brought to the states. Xander enlisted into the Stargate Program, Andrew and Dawn both attending Colorado State as freshmen.

Giles had wished his three surviving charges to a world without demons. Instead they got freaking ALIENS!

It was the head injury in Egypt. That was when the reality shift or memory infusion took place. Dawn and Andrew didn’t remember their lives as Dawn Summers and Andrew Welles. Only Xander remembered. The Key was the reason. In all the realities there was only one Key. Dawn. And someone somewhere had to know where and what the Key was to protect it. Xander seemed to have gotten the nod for that.

He’d come to the conclusion he was cursed to live a life of the extremely unbelievable and impossibly weird no matter which reality he was in.

Xander Giles had grown up living some sort of Indiana Jones movie, smuggling ancient artifacts in the middle east. Not for profit but simply to preserve them from destruction by militant religious extremists.

Xander Harris had grown up on a Hellmouth fighting demons.

Xander really wasn’t sure which set of memories was stranger.

Xander Harris also came with a mental menagerie that included Soldier and Hyena.

No matter which way he looked at it his head was as confused as it was crowded and his life was just plain unreal.

"Didya see that?" Jack bellowed pulling Xander from his thoughts.

"Uh--"

"It appears to have been a legal play, O’Neill"

"Legal my ass, Teal’c! Xan, Danny, c’mon tell me that wasn’t a foul. I dare ya."

"They actually have fouls in hockey?" Xander asked confused, he had no clue what had happened on the tv in the game between the Avalanche and the Penguins. He thought he was doing good to actually know who was playing and which team had which color of jersey.

"Uh sorry Jack, um…"

"Neither one of you were paying attention." Jack accused.

"Hockey, not a big thing where I grew up" Xander smiled. True enough, whether one wanted to apply that to the middle east or Sunnydale. Just not hockey kind of places. "Having a hard time getting into it"

Jack proceded to give a lecture on the history and rules of hockey. Xander simply looked at him confused.

"I’m wasting my breath ain’t I?" Jack sighed.

"Just a little" Xander nodded good naturedly.

He huffed and grumbled a bit. "Fine, next time you and Danny can pick the movies"

"Hey! I never get to pick the movies" Carter complained grinning.

"Commercial’s over Carter" Jack turned his attention back to the tv refusing to be drawn into that argument.

Xander sat back and tried to push down the tumult of memories. Tomorrow Dawn and Andrew would be home for the weekend.

And Monday, he got to take trip number two through the gate.

From bad horror movie--hellmouths, demons and vampires--to bad sci-fi movie--wormholes, interplanetary travel and aliens--he was destined to live a life of the weird.