Title: Mistletoe Mischeif

Author:lisa roquin

Rating: 13/15

Fandom: Angel/HP

Pairing: Cordelia/Snape

Summary: don't cross enchanted decorative branches.

Warnings: none

Disclaimer:All copyrighted characters and their respective universes are the property of their creators, authors, writers, production companies, publishers etc. Quite simply if you recognize it, it is in no way shape or form mine. This is purely for entertainment. No money made.

Author's Note: TtH 2004 Fic For All

"Well?" Cordelia demanded.

"Well, what?" Severus snarled at the woman blocking his entry into his classroom.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Look up,"

Severus growled. The enchanted mistletoe Dumbledore had set about the castle. Or perhaps had convinced Filius to set loose about the castle, no matter Albus was behind the accursed sprigs.

She snorted. "Fine. He's the one being annoying not me, harass him." She told the mistletoe.

"I have work to do." He glared. Wife or not, he was not about to kiss her in the hallway, his seventh years would be arriving for NEWT Level Potions any moment, the Warning Bell had already tolled signifying the start of the school day. Which would be aggravation enough it being the last day of classes before the Christmas Holiday. He didn't need the little hormonal miscreants speculating on his kissing his wife. The little buggers speculated quite enough about his wife and her preference for rather revealing muggle clothing.

Cordelia shook her head. "Whatever, scrooge. I'll be helping Tonks with the Defense Class today." She pushed past him, and had the audacity to pinch his arse as she went by.

That woman was going to be the death of him. For years he'd been convinced either Albus or Voldemort would ultimately be responsible for his death with one of their half-crocked plans or another. Clearly he'd been wrong. Then again, he hadn't met Cordelia yet then either.

~*~*~

The mistletoe followed him into the classroom.

It danced about his head all through the class period. The handful of seventh years stared in horror and didn't hear a word he said.

It moved to the doorway when he said class dismissed.

Severus growled but as Albus came down he could do nothing to stop the unending stream of holiday pecks on the cheek and a couple kisses worth losing ten points for each of the participants as the students made their way out the door and past the enchanted mistletoe. Once the students were gone, the blasted mistletoe's sharp branch end poked Severus in the backside.

The wide eyed gaping horrified students was repeated with Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw first years. Though none of the students needed threatened with detention as they gave hurried pecks and darted through the classroom door and the mistletoe above.

The mistletoe followed him to lunch.

"Oh really, Severus!" Minerva chuckled. "Petrificus Totalis."

Severus toppled over. Frozen, petrified.

She levitated him upright and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Oh dear, you've really annoyed that sprig haven't you."

Titters from around the corner ensured Minerva was going to be wishing she'd never tried to help him as soon as there weren't witnesses.

"Finite Incantatem." Minerva said then loudly called out to the giggling third years and herded them to the Great Hall. Smart woman, she knew to be wary.

Tonks sat next to him. "You're going to have to do a fair bit of groveling." she said without preamble.

Severus glowered.

"What? You're the git that wouldn't kiss your wife not me."

The Mistletoe sprig took to entwining itself in his hair and yanking on it during the meal.

"Professor Chase-Snape, a word..."

"Not likely," his wife snorted and breezed past him.

Curse her, and if she insisted on wearing those muggle trousers she should at least wear a robe over them. They clung far too well to her backside and legs...and he was going to embarass himself if he continued to follow her exit.

~*~*~

He put a sign on the classroom door canceling his three afternoon classes.

The accused sprig harrangued him endlessly. He resigned himself to sitting in his chair and allowing the thing to play with his hair.

His wife had to have hexed this annoying little twig.

~*~*~

The obnoxious mistletoe sprig drug him to the great hall for supper by the hair.

He'd had enough of the accursed sprig, and his wife's veritble cackle of laughter as he was hauled to stand by her chair.

"Ready to cry uncle, Scrooge?" she smirked.

"The battle, not the war, Professor," he glared. There were extra enchantments on the sprig, his suspicions had been right.

"Give it up, Scroogie, you'll never win."

Severus snorted. "We shall see, Madam,"

"So?"

"Uncle." he muttered drolly. The blasted twig had managed to tangle up a clump of his hair and had it standing straight on end above him.

She had the nerve to laugh as she stood up, a smirk worthy of any Snape on her face.

She stood up on tip toe and tugged his head down. He made good use of her gasp of surprise when he grabbed her by the backside and hauled her against him. His tongue plunged into her mouth claiming, demanding.

If he was forced to endure this, she was going to pay as well.

Severus could just feel Albus' eyes twinkling.

"Oh, oh my," that was Filius.

Severus lifted his wife up from the ground, she obliged by wrapping her legs around his waist.

"PROFESSORS! THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!" Minerva scolded. "ALBUS DO SOMETHING!"

"Lucky bastard" was heard from one of the older Slytherins.

Severus noticed the shift as Albus, or perhaps the Castle itself at ALbus' bequest, moved them from the Great Hall to their chambers. His wife didn't.

She gave a little yelp of surprise as he murmured a spell against her lips which propelled her backwards, to bounce on her denim clad backside on their bed.

"You are going to pay dearly for your stunt today, wife," Severus stared down at her.

"Lucky me," Cordelia moaned with pleasure as Severus crawled on top of her pinning her to the bed.