Title: Christmas Wish

Author:lisa roquin

Rating: pg13

Fandom: BtVS/X-Men

Pairing: Xander Harris/Remy LeBeau (Gambit)

Summary: every once in a while, wishes can be good, even for a Scooby.

Warnings: *slash*

Disclaimer:All copyrighted characters and their respective universes are the property of their creators, authors, writers, production companies, publishers etc. Quite simply if you recognize it, it is in no way shape or form mine. This is purely for entertainment. No money made.

Author's Note: TtH Fic For All 2004

Remy LeBeau awoke with pain throbbing through every joint of his body and a man looking down at him worriedly.

"Well, not completely human with those eyes." the man said. Then snorted, "Of course not."

Remy noticed the knife in the man's hand, ready to use though not held threateningly at the moment. "Dis ole t'ief is human, cher. Jus' a mutant."

"Mutant." the man sighed, then snorted. "I really know better than to say the W-word. Especially since I'm high up on D'Hoffryn's want to make my life a living hell list."

"W-word, cher?" Remy managed.

"W-I-S-H" the stranger offered. "The world's most evil four letter word."

"If y' say so," Remy stared. He tried to sit up and groaned barely managing to lift his head. "Feel like Gambit been runned over by truck."

"You fell out of a dimensional vortex from about thirty feet in the air."

Remy blinked as the image of the strange whirling dark blue vortex that had sucked him in came to mind. "Oui, cher, 'member now."

"Well, ya ain't in Kansas anymore, that's for sure."

"Gambit was in New York, not Kansas." Remy offered a half smile.

The man laughed.

"Can y' tell dis ole t'ief where he be now?"

"Somewhere in the Savanna. I got lost couple days ago. Not that it's that big of a deal, I'll stumble across something sooner or later and have supplies. If my map and compass are right another three days should hit a village. Eh, another four days and Willow will come find me if I haven't checked in by then so I'm not worried."

"Savanna? Be in Africa?"

"Yeah." the man nodded as he stared at him oddly. "You're not freaking over the dimensional vortex?"

"Don' know 'bout you cher, but dese t'ings happen where Gambit from."

"In other words your world's as weird as mine." the other man snorted. "Got demons?"

"Some." Remy managed. He tried sitting up again, this time he managed to do it. "Not gonna hurt y', cher," Remy managed trying to stop his head from spinning due to the pain. His mutation made him a little less breakable than most, his bone to muscle ratio closer to a cats and his bones a bit more flexible than the average human. He could survive a thirty foot fall, if he landed right which apparently he had, but it still hurt like hell even if he hadn't broken anything. The man had taken a half step back and the knife clutched just a little more purposefully. "'Zactly how did Gambit get here?"

"I said the W word. Muttering to myself. It's Christmas eve, was missing the girls and said the W word, wanting some company. Voila, hot guy with demon eyes falling outta a vortex."

Remy winced. "Not a demon,"

"Didn't mean offense by that," the dark haired stranger shrugged. "After all, my ex was a demon. Her boss is the one that still has it in for me. We don't have mutants here, just demons. I'm Xander."

"Remy, or Gambit. Have yer pick,"

"Gonna be dark in just over an hour... you hurt?"

"Banged up a bit, not'ing serious."

The other nodded.

"Need to start a fire and set the wards."

"Wards?"

"Willow made them."

Remy nodded, confused, but he really doubted asking was going to get him an answer that made more sense. Might as well wait and see.

A campfire was quickly built, though Xander seemed to have lost his lighter.

"Let Remy?"

Xander cast him a speculative look. "Exactly how?"

"Eh, mutant..."

"Sure. Mutant." the other nodded to himself in what seemed self-depreciating amusement. "I mean, I'm the Zeppo. Gotta be something weird." he shook his head again. "Go for it."

Remy carefully charged a blade of grass, the small sparks from its explosion caught on the tinder of the campfire. None of the sparks managed to produce even the smallest of flames simply burned for a second then extinguished themselves. It took all of nine blades of grass before he had a flame.

"Huh," Xander shook his head. "That's handy. Could be scary if you decided to do that to something big, but handy. I'll set the wards then see if I can get something to eat."

"Sure, cher,"

Remy watched him move a few paces out put down a small stone fished from his pocket then count off twenty long strides. Another stone set down. Turn, mark off another twenty long paces, stone set down another turn and repeat the twenty paces.

Remy frowned at the pale shimmer that emerged in the air.

"Wards. Stay put. They kinda hurt when ya go banging into them. I'll be back." he said then bent and put another stone down which seemed to make a narrow break in the shimmering air. Shimmer wasn't quite right, more a blur more obvious by the unblurred section, just enough for a man to step through, which Xander did, picked up his stone and the blur filled in that area.

"What y' gone an' done got yerself in dis time, Remy?" he asked himself as the man moved off.

~*~*~

It was almost completely dark when Xander stepped back inside the wards of the camp site. "Christmas Pig." he held up the warthog piglet, skinned, gutted and ready to put on the spit over the fire. He wasn't sure how fussy of a stomach his 'guest' had, so decided it best to clean his lucky catch away from the camp. If it had just been himself he wouldn't have hunted anything down, but he didn't have enough for two--at least not to last until Willow came looking. Mama Warthog had been distracted by young lioness Xander managed to get one of the piglets and get the hell out of there while Mama Warthog was still busy.

"Din't hear a shot."

Xander pointed to the crossbow hanging from his belt. "These don't go boom," he offered. "Side of my backpack there, can you put the two y rods on either side of the fire?"

"Oui, cher," Remy nodded.

Xabder grabbed the spit and worked it through the pig, smiling to himself at the baffled look the other man had on his face at how easily the two holders for the spit slid into the ground. That had been a thank-you from a half-demon in Cairo that Xander had helped out. Of all things, it seemed the guy had been a cousin of Clem's. The metal 'stakes' that held the spit would go through stone like butter. Handy little enchantment for when he had to camp out like this. Xander still wasn't and never would be a big fan of mojo--hello, Evil Willow anyone?--but he also wasn't stupid enough to turn down something fairly minor and damned useful.

~*~

Yrana glared at the two men. Really. Put a perfectly hot person in front of the other and they were both acting like dunces. She'd been hovering for years. She was the Vengeance Demon of Betrayed Trust.

She'd been waiting for something anything she could grant. He refused to wish anything on anyone. Hmmph. Well, she couldn't just wait for him to wish any longer. D'Hoffryn said so. When he'd wished for company since none of his friends were around, she'd jumped on it. Okay she had to wiggle a thing or two around because D'Hoffryn didn't care for the man who caused-or at least was the root of- one of his Vengeance demons to get Redemption of all things.

Still, that redheaded witch had also wished he wasn't alone and Anya had rather uselessly wished he never found happiness with another woman. D'Hoffryn wanted a way found to make that happen. Nothing was said about happiness with a man.

Yrana was running out of time, she only had til dawn. She was trying to help the fools and they weren't cooperating. At least Xander had warded her in unknowingly.

Hmmm...

~*~

"Merde!" Remy gasped as the basket appeared falling next to him.

Xander dove for his back pack and his squirt gun.

"Squirtgun, Cher?"

"Holy Water," Xander frowned at the squirt gun. "And only about four tablespoons or so left."

"Dere a Christmas Card on it cher, Snoopy Christmas card."

"Who's it from?"

"Miss you, we're t'inkin of you--Willow and Kennedy, Giles, Andrew,Buffy and Dawnnie."

Xander snorted. "Like Kennedy could care less and I doubt--well, it's got to be safe because she's the only one that can get through the wardings."

Remy looked at the basket skeptically. "So dis Willow, she send goody baskets often?"

Xander shook his head. "But it is Christmas Eve. And Snoopy's on the card."

"Sure, cher, gotta be safe if Snoopy is on it." Remy muttered.

"Willow and I have watched It's Christmas Charlie Brown every Christmas Eve since we were little. We used to watch it at Jesse's since Willow's folks didn't do Christmas and mine just did hard liquor for holidays."

"At'iests?"

"Jewish"

"Oh"

"Ya know yer eyes kinda glow in the dark."

Remy winced slightly. "Sorry, cher, m' sunglasses were in m' pocket when I fell. Dey got crunched good."

~*~

"C'mon c'mon you two!" Yrana muttered. Even half convinced the basket was from Willow Xander was being over-cautious. Well, it was a good trait to stay alive, but when it was interfering with her plans it was damn annoying. "Eat the friggin fudge already!"

"YES!" she shouted an hour later when after poking and prodding and the strangest conversation of half-explanations and skirted truth without lying she'd ever heard the two finally decided the fudge was worth trying. The one and only time in his life Xander Harris showed restraint at anything chocolate--she could just throttle him!

~*~

"On three?"

Remy nodded. After all the fudge seemed absolutely irresistable and Xander was convinced it was safe, a gift from his best friend

"One...two...three." Xander counted off and they both bit into the fudge. "Ohhh, shit," Xander whispered when the strange red mist started filling the air.

~*~

Xander groaned as he woke up feeling decidedly hung over. But the insistent shaking of his shoulder wouldn't let him sleep.

"Uh cher, who dat?" Remy said nervously staring at the red headed woman who was standing over them squeaking wordlessly.

"Xander!" she finally got out. "Naked. Him. Xander!"

"Willow?" Xander blinked "You shouldn't be here for a few days yet.

"ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR TWO WEEKS!" the redhead screeched.

"Ow, petit, m' head can take de noise," Remy winced.

"You just watch it, Mister, cause I'll conjure a shovel!"

"Two weeks?"

"Yes, Xander, you disappeared off the map on Christmas Eve!" she said angrily. "And when I finally find you you're naked with a demon and hung over! Hot, naked, male demon."

"Uh, Will, what, the lesbian thing not working anymore?"

"Hello! NOT BLIND! And you're not distracting me!"

"Distracting you from what!"

"Nakedness! Naughty Nakedness and no Xander anywhere on earth for two weeks! And Naughty Demon Nakedness!"

"Not a demon, mutant from another dimension."

"XANDER!" she shrieked.

Remy grabbed tightly to Xander as the world spun out of focus.

~*~

"Willow? Xander? Xander, who is that? Willow why are Xander and the hottie with demon eyes naked?"

"HE'S BEEN BUMPING UGLIES WITH DEMONS WHILE WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT OF OUR MINDS!" Willow shouted.

"XANDER!" Buffy shouted affronted.

"HELLO! SO NOT YOUR BUSINESS AND WHO GOT GROINY WITH HALF THE SCOURGE OF EUROPE!" Xander shouted defensively, dazed, confused and naked and how the hell had two weeks passed? He hadn't even had time to wake up and the Vampire Shagger was flipping Remy's eyes were less than normal? Vampire Shagger? Okay back up, you don't think about Buffy like that. But he was tired, and confused, and naked and his head hurt--and Buffy and Willow could both be really really shrill. And Hyena was in the back of his head making noise for the first time in years that the Slayer wasn't going to hurt its mate.

Buffy got a furious pinched expression. "This is soooo not about Angel and Spike!"

"Xander! I knew I heard--Xander" Dawn skidded to a halt and gaped.

Buffy grabbed her sister and slapped her hand over Dawn's eyes.

"OWWW! I'm gonna have two black eyes!" Dawn screamed half pain, half fury.

"No Naked-Xander-and-Demon Gawking for you!" Buffy shouted right back.

"Girls, really what is going on--Xander,where are your clothes!

"Hi G-Man," Xander muttered defeatedly.

"How many times must I tell you not to call me that dreadful name and really there is a house full of young girls here! Why are you naked in the parlor?"

"Ask Willow, she was the one who had the hissy and didn't let us grab pants."

"Willow."

"Xander. Naked. Demon. Male Demon.--"

"Hot Male Demon," Buffy added. "And more nakedness."

"Girls!"

"He's naked! And so's he! And Xander doesn't do Naked things with hottie guy demons."

"ARE YOU TRYING TO SQUISH MY HEAD, BUFFY!" Dawn shouted.

"Girls, really,"

"Cher, please don' tell me." Remy groaned into Xander's ear at the giggling behind them. Female giggling. Young female giggling.

"Mmm yup, herd of teenage girls."

Remy muttered darkly under his breath.

"SEE! He's a demon! He's speaking some demon language."

"He's speaking French, Buffy, and while the French might have their problems as a whole I don't think that the French can be remotely called a demon language."

"French...well.. Parley Veiw Knuckle Sandwich?" Buffy shook her clenched fist at them.

"Buffy, do curtail your threats and quips to English please," Giles sighed. "Girls, go about your business, please. Willow, Dawn, Buffy go into my office and sit. Boys, go upstairs and find something to wear, Xander the girls purchased clothing for you for when you're here. There must be something that will work for your uh--"

"Remy,"

"Get your-- Remy-- decently covered."

~*~

"Was dat all yer family, cher?" Remy asked, now dressed and ready to go back downstairs to meet the crazy people.

"Mmm, yup, almost all of them. Kennedy and Andrew are around here somewhere too. Kennedy counts cause she's with Willow. We're stuck with Andrew 'cause no one else will take him." Xander answered dismally from where he sat on the end of the bed.

Remy was less than enthused there were more of them. Images of the missing time were slowly pushing their way through the hazy red mist in his mind. Images he wanted to compare to reality. The initial attraction he'd felt to Xander had changed and deepened. Some part of Remy's mind had already decided to just go with this latest strange turn in his life and enjoy it for all it was worth. The rest of his mind, and other parts of him were quickly falling into full agreement. "Cher?"

"I didn't--"

"Whoever did dis wasn't you. I know dat."

"Thing is, I don't think I want Willow to undo it." Xander sighed.

"I don' eit'er, cher,"

Xander grinned. "Well, shall we?"

"T'ink we'd get away wit' sneaking out and hiding?"

Xander shook his head.

"Nice thought any way," Remy shrugged.

~*~*~

"Yes!" Yrana grinned.

"How is this a punishment?" D'Hoffryn said from behind her where she was watching the chaos in the Watcher's study.

Yrana swallowed. Shit! Time for some fast-talking. "Anya wanted him never to find happiness with another woman. Even if he's experimented a couple times before this, he does prefer women for the most part. She was my friend, seemed fitting to get a little back for what happened to her."

Xander and Remy facing down the rest. Willow now nearly sobbing because she'd sorted out as much that it was a vengeance demon curse. The silly girl hadn't caught on what the curse was though. It had bound Xander and Remy together, as well as the initial lust spell but the third component was only a speeding up of what they would have eventually felt for each other.

D'Hoffryn nodded slowly as he walked around her and glared down at her. "But he's going to be happy with this one."

Yrana nodded. "It is going to drive the Slayer and the Witch out of their minds they can't fix it though. And they are going to hound him. Three for the price of one. Granted it's not enough but it's a start." And Xander would have someone at his side who would stand by him consistently rather than relegate him to the helpless idiot's corner when convenient. But she wasn't going to point that out. Not by a long shot.

D'Hoffryn smirked slightly. "True. Subtle unending misery over this match for a good long while. It will take those two a very long time to accept he's content, let alone happy. You always were so squeamish about blood, though psychological torture does have it's place. Not bad for an appetizer my dear. I look forward to what you come up with next."

D'Hoffryn disappeared.

Well, shit. At least she'd have enough time to think since D'Hoffryn was content for now, and the bigger stink the Slayer and Witch made, the more time she'd have.

She grinned. Xander and Remy looked too cute together. And Xander's hand tightly holding Remy's was sending the two girls into orbit.