Title: Leaping Lizardy Things
Author:lisa roquin
Rating: 15
Fandom: BtVS/SG1
Pairing: Xander/Daniel
Summary: Dawn's gag housewarming present.
Warnings: none
Disclaimer:All copyrighted characters and their respective universes are the property of their creators, authors, writers, production companies, publishers etc. Quite simply if you recognize it, it is in no way shape or form mine. This is purely for entertainment. No money made.
Author's Note: for kyriane's prompt of Xander/Daniel.
Xander opened the package up warily. He knew he hadn't packed this box. The rest of his stuff took up little room in Daniel's apartment. Clothes and weapons mostly. Plus a few books Giles had sent along. "Dawnmeister you are so dead." he mumbled as he pushed aside styrofoam peanuts.
"Do I even want to know?"
Xander held up the brilliant green ceramic of...
Daniel shook his head. "A leaping lizard? You're friends are strange."
"You call Jack your best friend. No mocking my girls as long as you claim him." Xander snorted.
~*~*~
"Whoa, easy there." Xander said helping the man to his feet. "You okay?"
"Uh...yeah, uhm..."
"You uh gotta watch out for the leaping lizardy things around here. There's a nest of them, they're deadly." Xander said carefully. Leaping lizardy things? That was a lamer excuse than the whole "gangs on PCP" which covered every oogly-boogly to hit Sunnydale.
"Those aren't leeping lizards."
"Uh...kay. You know what they are?"
"If I said I did."
"You know about what they do? The brain sucking glowy eyed bit?"
"If I said I did"
"Cool. Then you won't look at me like I'm nuts when I say there is like some sort of queen pumping these puppies out like there's no tomorrow and they took over a little village of about sixty a few miles north of here. I'm Xander."
"Daniel. Daniel Jackson...how...uhm how did you find out about these..."
"Giles came up with they're called Ghalds..."
"Goa'uld."
"Ghald Goa'uld, Ghoul. Whatever. They're supposed to be long gone."
"Do you know where they're from?"
"Some hell dimension probably. Where else do demons come from?"
"They're not demons. There's no such thing as demons"
"Uh huh. Yeah, right. So then, what do you think they are? Hold over from the dinosaurs?" Xander snorted.
"Parasitic aliens."
Xander blinked. He looked toward the sky. "Wasn't my life weird enough? Now we've got intergalactic demons?"
"They're not demons."
"Demons are real. Hell is real. Vampires, werewolves, every mythological monster you can think of has some basis of reality and the majority of them are demonic and or supernatural in some way. Trust me. I've been doing the whole demon fighting bit for years. A demon from outerspace isn't nothing new. We had the whole shooting star demon a few years ago but damn a whole colony of these Ghaldi things. Giles fround a bunch of old scrolls and some major nasties from the upper echelons of hell had a hard time dealing with these guys. Look. Let's just get rid of the Queen, kill as many of these little icky snakes as we can then argue about whether they're demons or aliens later, kay? Sound like a plan?"
"You can't kill--"
"Wanna bet."
"The parasite can be removed."
Xander groaned. "You got back up, cause none of mine can get here for at least--never mind. About time you got here Willow."
"So what is the big..."
"The Ghalds...there's more than G-man was thinkin' they got a queen."
"Oh Goddess."
"Uh--how?" Daniel frowned.
"Willow, Daniel. He says the Ghald are aliens."
"Goa'uld. And they are aliens."
"Andrew's going to love that one." Willow rolled her eyes. "He'll be bouncing around like there's no tomorrow because the Ghald--"
"Goa'uld-"
"Come from the Star Circle. And he was arguing with Dawn it had to mean they were aliens. So how do we kill them"
"Any old thing seems to work. Bullets, slice and dice, arrows."
"Slice and dice? Arrows? Look you can't kill the people. The goa'uld can be removed..."
"You mean there's something left? It doesn't like entirely eat their brain or their soul?"
"Soul? No...they attach themselves to the person's cerebral cortex and take over the body. The person is still there trapped inside their own head with no control over their body."
"Yikes" Xander made a face.
"You think an extraction spell would work?"
"Worth a shot." Xander shrugged.
"But what if--"
"Will, you try a spell or I'm gonna start shooting. These things are spreading."
"Wait a minute. Goa'uld or jaffa? If they're larvae then they can't take over a host."
"Eight in heads, fifty plus in stomachs."
"The stomach ones aren't a threat. Or not as much of one. If we can capture those...and..."
"Gotcha. Will, make with the mojo." Xander said as he pointed to five locals approaching with machine guns and machetes.
~*~*~
"I suppose she meant well..."
"She meant to be a smart ass." Xander snorted. "Yeah, like I'm going to forget meeting you even if there wasn't an us with the Goa'uld queen and village of Goa'ulds..."
"Well, at least its a lizard." Daniel said eyeing the rather disturbing looking figurine.
"Uhm...where do you want to put it?"
"Hall closet til the girls come to visit."
"Sounds good." Daniel grinned. "Are you...are you sure you want to be here?"
"Will you quit asking me that? I'm gonna start thinking you don't want me here."
"God, no. I mean yes. I want you here. It's just that..."
"Hey, I can still help them if they need me. They've got an army of Slayers now. Time to do something else." Xander said. "And hey, where else to go but to fight aliens after a decade of fighting demons."
Daniel smiled and leaned over to kiss Xander.
*buzzbuzzbuzzz* came the obnoxious sound of the doorbell.
"If that's Jack I'm gonna kill him" Xander muttered.